File: boochi-the-hema-by-指挥官有416就够了-v0-33y9e6b01e2d1.jpg (139 KB, 960x1358)
hema will never be a real spectator sport Anonymous No.267570
>go to HEMA tournament
>the "real" martial art unlike those olympictard fencers with their antennae
>looks like a community yoga class mixed with a renfaire dumpster fire
>sea of identically jacketed blobs in mismatched gear
>no wonder nobody shows up except discord autists and their girlfriends who get dragged along
>1/3 of the fighters last conditioned pre pandemic
>1/3 are trying to force techniques while drowning in ill fitted armor and standardized plastic
>two guys hop at each other for 0.8 seconds
>mash blades
>both get tagged
>judge screams HALT
>score updates
>they reset and hug as per the ancient deadly martial traditions of europe
>commentary guy starts yapping "good offense from blue" like anyone gives a single fuck about your opinion
>hop and mash again
>boxers fight in rings that actually let them move and employ offense and defense. understands spacing
>kendo fights in big open floors designed for the actual length of the weapon. understands spacing
>HEMA fights in phonebooth and alleyways.
>wonder why two retards fighting over the last parking space is uninteresting and boring.
>le federmeme butterknife
>swordsmiths are deliberately making impressively blood grooves on blunt swords because even they know the feder looks like a joke
>its called a blood groove you faggot kys
>people finally make feders light and fast enough to actually fight with continuous exchanges longer than 1.5 minutes
>suddenly the same people start screeching "muh blade presence" "muh historical weight" "you're sportifying it"
>what the actual fuck do you think the colosseum was. what do you think scaffolds and prize fights were. stage combat is historically accurate you absolute retards
>deliberately keep the weapons heavy enough to feel "serious"
>then run them under stop start point fencing rules that reward jumping, mashing and doubles
>result: a spectator sport that neither spectators nor serious martial artists want to watch
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